Should I move to another account?
I've been thinking.. I want to take photography seriously.. and I still have a goal set in my life to get one of those Rebel XTi cameras... And then learning how to use it to take great pictures and actually going out there to do good photography and not camwhoring shots or just random pictures of people I know.
Also.. I want to do the clothing thing seriously. I got interested in that all of sudden. I'd like to get better at it, though. I've only just begun... I can only do so much and I have no one to teach me.
Then.. there's the sculpting. I really want to do that and have my stuff sold. I believe I might be able to do it, but I'm still not sure. I still don't have anyone who's interested in my stuff other than my friends, and I don't want to sell my stuff just to my friends, because I'd feel like I was taking their money.
The only thing I'm really good at.. that I don't do often enough - is photo manipulation. I know I'm good at that and I've had years of practice. I always get compliments and "I wish I could do that" comments on my stuff. I could even get a job in that area if people weren't hung up on me having a college in my background. I think I should go try for that anyway.
I wanna be the girl in the song that has a job "retouching photos for a magazine" (Seriously, I wasn't joking when I said I now LOVE fountains of wayne more than any other band.. but I had a dream about green day the other night and it kind of made me feel retarded)
Note: Rich, if you read this, please no silly comments. Just come talk to me instead, you goon.
So.. Should I move to another account and get rid of this one? I've been thinking about changing the name to my livejournal for awhile now. I've had this username on many websites for years.. but now my life has changed drastically. I've come to terms with what I can and can't do.
If things go as planned in the near future.. I might be able to get a job I like and have interest in. I might be able to do a lot more online than I have been. I may go to school for something. Or not. Never know.
The problem is, I've got too many things under my belt. I want to do this and that.. and every now and then I think about the dreams I used to have.. and what happened to them - but I stop myself from thinking about it too much for fear I'll do myself in. (Not literally, as far as you're concerned)
I still want to be "known" for something.. but that's besides the point.
My life is so different than it used to be.. but I still act as the same old girl. It's really awkward how that all happened or how I managed to do any of it.
Shit. I used to party all the time. Now I don't, I just say I do. But I don't mean it.
Shit.. I used to hang out in the shoutbox.
Now there's a joke n' a half.
I wonder if I should start from scratch here.. maybe start paying for my DA stuff? Eventually.. maybe do prints. I've always wanted a DD but right now, I don't deserve one. I kind of hope that one day, I will. Not right now, though, I'm not ready yet.. so don't get any big ideas!
What I'm trying to say... should I move away from what all of this used to be, and only do what I'm seriously thinking about? Start doing photos and using proper light.. start making figurines and selling them in an online shop... Maybe learn to do some serious clothing mods?
Don't ask about the writing.. I still do it, from time to time. Even though it may not seem like it.. and it wouldn't, because I've always been secretive about it. Ever since Richard Jeni died.. The writer in me kind of gave up hope.